š Hi, Iām Jeff. I write weekly about lessons Iāve learned leading product teams and working to lead well in chaotic environments, drawing on 25+ years of building.
I re-launched a new website, focusing on coaching Iām doing.
ā± Read time: 3 minutes
It was usually about 7:30 am.
Before anyone else arrived at the office, Iād slip into the only conference room we had, open the Headspace app, and sit quietly for a few minutes. At the time, I was finishing a seven-year tour of duty at a small, 20-person startup in Silicon Valley.
Why try meditation? I was hunting for edges ā better systems, better strategy, better performance. Meditation felt like one more experiment worth running.
But that same drive to improve had a cost.
Back then, I put too much pressure on myself ā ruminating, taking everything too seriously. Our sons were young. I thought having kids might slow the overthinking. Instead ā more people depending on me, more to lose.
The overthinking pulled me out of rooms. At times Iād be less present, less patient, and less thoughtful ā with the people I cared about most.
But my morning conference room experiment was causing something to shift.
That didnāt mean the habit was easy. Itās never a fully consistent practice for me. I manage a few times a week when things are going well, but rarely every day. I often have to start over. Thatās still true today.
Iāll skip the science on mindfulness. Hereās what I noticed:
I started watching myself from a slight distance, noticing how I was showing up.
I could catch my mind wandering mid-dinner, mid-conversationāand bring it back.
My stress fuse got longer. Iād notice the buildup and pause before reactingā¦or not reacting at all.
But the shift I didnāt see coming was what others noticed. My wife would occasionally ask, āHey, howās your meditation going?ā That landed two ways for me: this must be workingā¦maybe I hadnāt always been easy to be around.
The experiment was changing me. That person happened to perform better at work too.
But what I valued more was becoming calmer: a better parent, husband, friend, son.
The highest-leverage work isnāt optimizing your tactics ā itās becoming a different person. What changed wasnāt my strategy. It was me.
If you want to feel what that shift is like, start here. A simple practice I learned from a coach: Notice three things around you right now. Research shows thatās enough to interrupt your autopilot. Thirty seconds. Most people are surprised by what they notice.
What were you optimizing for ā and what actually changed?
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